An Outside View: Taking on Mother’s Day

news@theheraldnewspapers.com • Take a wacky psychologist. • Mix in an unsavory opportunistic lawyer. • Add a dash of Major League Baseball. • Toss in something as All-American as Mother’s Day. • Stir it all in our judicial system. • Sprinkle in a spoonful of insanity and what do you have? Answer: The recipe for the trial of the century. It will be bigger than O.J. Court TV is already clearing its docket. An anxious America waits. Will justice be served? I am of course referring to the case simply known as Cohn versus the Los Angeles Angels. For the less informed among you, Michael Cohn has filed a discrimination lawsuit against the Los Angeles Angels because in 2005 the Halos gave away tote bags to all mothers attending the game on Mother’s Day. His suit claims the promotion violates the Constitution in that it discriminates both on the grounds of gender and age. He found a lawyer, Alfred Raya, who agreed. Cohn claims he asked for a tote bag at the game but was rebuked. We can only imagine his humiliation. He could finally relate to Rosie Parks. For the first time, he understood what Martha Burk has been preaching about all these years. Cohn first wrote the Angels to complain. The team responded by sending him four tote bags. That apparently wasn’t enough to overcome the pain of being a victim of such overt discrimination. Someone had to stand up for the civil rights of men everywhere. Thus, the lawsuit. There is a legitimate point buried deep in this lawsuit. We guys have been made to feel like criminals. There are more women in this country than men yet women enjoy minority status. Go figure! Someone needs to strike back. But do we really want to take on our mothers? Not this writer. I’m still trying to explain how I could possibly be out of town on business on Mother’s Day last weekend. There must be a better case out there that can help us get back our equal rights. This ain’t it. Cohn and Raya have proven two things. First, even shrinks can be crazy. How would you like to lie on his couch telling him your troubles? A hint to those who might find themselves in that position. Don’t mention your mother. Secondly, there are too many dang lawyers in the world. It isn’t going to get any better. Universities just keep pumping them out. There are so many of them, there obviously isn’t enough work to go around. They must resort to frivolous lawsuits like this. We taxpayers will pay thousands so Cohn can have his day in court. Last Sunday, the Angels held another Mother’s Day promotion. They again gave away tote bags. However, they had learned their lesson. This time they gave the gift to the first 25,000 fans who arrived at the stadium. They can’t be accused of sex discrimination this year. I guess their attorneys advised them they needed to change their ways. I still have one question. What kind of son over the age of ten would take his mom to a ballgame for Mother’s Day and give her a tote bag? Then again, what kind of son would schedule a business trip out of town on Mother’s Day? Mom, I’ll get you that tote bag next time I see you.