Financial Focus: The Sandwich Generation

A popular new term is being thrown around when people find themselves in the middle of caring for their own children and parents at the same time. This week I’m taking a look at all the varieties of sandwiches available. Over one fourth of families in America are dealing with elderly parents and that number is projected to grow dramatically in the next few years. Many people are caught off guard when they realize that they are included in this group of being parents for their own parents. This ‘role reversal’ has many complications. OK, let’s take a look at the different sandwiches available today. First there’s the traditional favorite. You have children in High School or College, dealing with the younger generation, pressures of scheduling and stressed financial obligations. Then you are faced with a medical setback with one or more of your parents. Maybe they just need your additional attention for a short time, maybe they need someone to care for them round the clock. Regardless of the reason, you do what you have to do for your family and make it work in your schedule. This is the Traditional Sandwich. Of course, you can hold the mayo and go for the lettuce and tomato or any other extras! That might in itself sound complicated enough. Assuming that your family is like many, a husband and wife will have two parents and four grandparents each. This totals twelve elderly family members if all are living. Consider that some families today have double or triple that amount because of multiple marriages. See how your traditional sandwich can go to a double or triple stacker? Talk about family dynamics; as families become more complex, more and more situations can exist that weren’t even thought of years ago. Consider the DINKs (Dual Income No Kids) who have four aging parents, this might be an ‘open faced’ sandwich. There are still many varieties available. Regardless of how complicated a ‘sandwich’ is, there are some basics that everyone needs to be aware of. Love of your family is always the first reason that people have a desire to care for children and elderly parents/grandparents. Where there is love, there is the passion which drives the ability to care. Understanding the power of this love will go a long way when dealing with the emotional stress put on a family. There will be an emotional roller coaster ride as a person deals with the day to day of life. • There is no one right way to do elder/parent care. • Every family has a different situation. • Family relationships are diverse and different. • Situations normally get worse before they get better. Prepare to deal with medical, legal and financial matters too. A little planning goes a long way. If you’re in the middle of the sandwich, talk to your parents about how they see the future (if you can). Some parents are very independent and will not even let their own children know how they feel about someday needing help with their own activities of daily living. Simple things like a ‘Living Will’ and a ‘Durable Power of Attorney’ can make a big difference, but there are many more issues that should be discussed whether or not the subject is painful. Because of ‘Economic Mobility’ families are now spread out all over the country making the issue of care even more difficult. At what point do you decide to move somebody away from their friends and community? There’s not a specific point where it’s obvious that you can no longer take care of yourself. Usually this happens when it’s beyond the point which a change should have occurred. For more information on the sandwich generation and insights for seniors there will be a morning workshop on Saturday, March 12th. This event will feature the national speaker, Brian Benham, founder of the Senior Resource Network. There is no cost for this event; however reservations are required by calling the Sevierville Senior Center at 453-8080. Space is limited to the first 100 people to register. This workshop is being sponsored by the Sevier County Elder Abuse Coalition. Material discussed is meant for general illustration and/or informational purposes only and it is not to be construed as tax, legal, or investment advice.  Although the information has been gathered from sources believed to be reliable, please note that individual situations can vary therefore, the information should be relied upon when coordinated with individual professional advice. Dean Hempel is an author, financial advisor and owner of Financial Professionals in Seymour, Tennessee.