The sales tax in all of its glorious confusion

I am trying to write a serious news minded type of editorial. Usually, I like to write in a light-hearted voice but this whole sales tax increase really irritates me. I don’t understand why we can’t have an across the board increase. Wouldn’t that generate more money and create less confusion? The increase makes sense unless you’re dealing with groceries-then it gets confusing. I can buy tomatoes at the normal 8.5% but if those same tomatoes are chopped up and put onto a sandwich I will be charged 9.5% for them. They way I understand it groceries are charged a higher tax rate for preparedness. Meaning, if an item is prepared beyond the way it is originally packaged, the sales tax is higher. Apparently, groceries that remain in their original package are still only 8.5%. If the store that the groceries are shipped to, decides to take those same groceries and repackage them or use them for store goods (i.e. deli sandwiches or salads), consumers get charged the new sales tax. Legislators have already made our state a laughing stock by not solving the huge $800 million hole in our budget and laying off 42,000 state workers over small things like typos in proposed legislation. The new sales tax guidelines are a further embarrassment to the people of this state as well as an insult to our intelligence. We have become the jokes in Jay Leno monologues. Sadly, the small one percent sales tax increase will actually equal out to five percent once store owners replace their old cash registers with more advanced machines to keep with the varying sales tax. It is only a matter of time before we see an increase in prices to leverage some of the increased spending store and business owners will have. If local grocers care at all about their customers, they will hang signs above every aisle-“Items in this section are all 9.5% sales tax.” or “Items in this aisle are only 8.5%.” They will have to pay for those signs, hire more customer service reps, and repackage items. Cookies that used to be a dollar per box will now be $2.50. Plus, if the store repackages those cookies (in order to make even more money hence, less cookie-more cash) the $2.50 price will have a 9.5% sales tax. I say rename our state “Indiana II.” Bring in the lottery, lower the sales tax, increase the license plate tax, take all taxes off of groceries, and have a small but fair income tax. After all, how many jokes does Jay Leno ever make about Indiana?