Sittin’ on the Porch With Mike

I agonized over the name for this column. I considered “This and That” because that’s what it’s about. I thought about “Ramblin’ with Mike” because that’s the way I talk (and write sometimes, too). Naw, too many ramblers already. Besides, the company went broke, sold out to Jeep, and now they’re made by Chrysler, which is Dahmler-Chrysler. They also make a pretty nice Mercedes. Well, anyway. Then, I thought of “Swangin’ with Mike,” but that didn’t work, either. I found it takes too long to write anything because you can’t hit more than two or three keys as you go by, no matter how hard you try. My wife, Miz Cathy (That’s Cathy with a “C”), finally picked a name for me. Cathy says that, since the thing I do best is sit and wonder what’s going on around me, “Sitting on the Porch” is very appropriate. How come, if she is so smart, I still need to work? I guess that’s another one of life’s great mysteries. I have always aspired to write the Great American Novel. Sure, you say, you and everybody else on the block. Well, I know I can do it. All I have to do is make up the perfect first line and the rest will be easy. The trouble is, the best first lines have already been used. Think about that, and we will address it the next time you stop by. I’ll keep the coffee pot on.