Love from overseas

International adoptions growing in Sevier Co. Step one: pass a home inspection. Step two: travel to Virginia for fingerprinting. Step three: depart plane in Bolivia; receive greeting from oxygen-bearing officials. Step four: appear in court three times, accompanied by interpreter. The jet-setting itinerary of a character in the latest James Bond film? No. These are just a few of the many steps taken by one local family to bring home a baby named Anna Grace. Mirroring national trends, more Sevier County residents eager to grow their families are increasingly turning to international adoptions. Children from countries as diverse as Bolivia, Bulgaria, China, Germany, Guatemala, and the Philippines now call Sevier County home. While each adoptive family has a unique experience, most also find that they have much in common. The Herald Newspapers looks at three local families who have adopted children from other countries. “I hope I never get over the thrill…” Auctioneer Todd Thompson and his wife Janie will both readily admit that the process of adopting a baby from outside the United States is lengthy. They turned to international adoption after an American arrangement fell through – the mother changed her mind at the hospital once the baby was born. Unwilling to face the possibility of another disappointment, the Thompsons decided to look to other countries for a child. For them, the tradeoff for the lengthy process was the assurance that there would be no last-minute change of heart from the birth mother. Like many babies adopted internationally, Anna Grace, now 2, was abandoned. At 6 days old, nuns at a Catholic church in Bolivia found her. Just 3 1/2 months old when they met her, “Anna was the youngest baby ever adopted out of Bolivia,” explains Todd. Usually, babies are 6 months to 1 year old when adopted. Approximately six months are given either for the birth parents to claim the baby or for the child to be adopted by native citizens, depending on the country. Though Anna was only 3 1/2 months old, the Thompsons already had 1 1/2 years invested in the process. From the initial paperwork there followed background checks, home-life evaluations, fingerprinting, more paperwork, and close contact with Maryville social worker Pam Wolfe. When the call finally came that a child was ready, the Thompsons had only two weeks to get to Bolivia. Despite some difficulties adjusting to the high elevation of the country, the Thompsons say that their experience was positive. “The adoption agency did a good job providing us with what we needed to make the process go smoothly, right down to the interpreter for our court proceedings,” says Todd. What were they expecting when they arrived? All they knew was that they would be meeting a healthy baby girl, as requested. Bolivia, unlike some countries, does not supply a photograph prior to the adoption. The lack of a photo made no difference in the Thompsons’ ability to instantly bond with their daughter. Janie recalls, “When we first saw her, it’s like you’re watching yourself. You’ve waited so long, and now you’re finally holding her. When you finally get her in your arms, it almost doesn’t seem real. We so wanted to be parents, and she so needed parents.” She continues, “The whole experience was so wonderful. I hope I never get over the thrill of getting her.” “He was mine from the very start.” Lengthy processes are the norm in adoption. Bob and Dee Dee Trentham had already waited five years trying to adopt a baby in the United States. Signed up with three different agencies, they had been told at the outset that they might get a baby immediately or years down the road. Finally, they were approached by Holston Homes, an agency with a Knoxville office specializing in Philippine placements. The idea of pursuing an international adoption was one they “prayed over and gave a lot of thought and consideration to,” says Dee Dee. One they decided it was right for them, the Trenthams began a process similar to that of the Thompsons. In addition to the paperwork, home visits, and fingerprinting, Dee Dee and Bob underwent psychological evaluations, HIV testing, and attended classes. The entire process took about nine months. Though detailed, the procedures “aren’t intimidating. The agency will guide you step-by-step,” according to Dee Dee. The Trenthams had requested a healthy baby boy. Unlike the Thompsons, they received a portfolio with some information and a photograph prior to their departure. The photo was nice, but when Dee Dee saw Luke, “he was mine from the very start.” She and Bob, who works with the City of Gatlinburg street department, agree with the Thompsons that the bonding was instant. “One of my favorite pictures is of Bob holding Paul.” [The couple adopted a second boy from the Philippines two years after getting Luke.] “We had just met him 48 hours earlier, and in the picture Paul is turning his head, already trying to find me,” shares Dee Dee. Adopted in 1995, Luke will be 9 on June 27. Paul is now 6 years old. The boys and their parents regularly attend functions of the Philippine-American Association of East Tennessee. Held in Knoxville, they give adoptive parents and their children a chance to socialize and support one another. Support is also plentiful right at home. Members of First Baptist Church of Sevierville, the Trenthams say that the church rallied around them from the start. Judge Dwight Stokes, who served as their lawyer, still stays in touch with the boys. And motivational speaker Dave Gorden donated “enough frequent flyer miles to get to Hong Kong on the first trip and went with us two years later when we got Paul,” recalls Dee Dee fondly. “It just felt so right.” “She started screaming when I first saw her,” shares Gale Caylor of her December 2002 meeting with daughter Chloe. Caylor relates the episode with a chuckle, explaining that Chloe was in a hotel lobby, not in her usual surroundings in the Changsha, China orpahange. Fourteen months old at the time, the little girl calmed down in about 30 minutes. After a couple of days, she was definitely a happier baby. Chloe began “smiling a lot and was even walking by the end of the week before we left for home,” says Caylor. Husband Rick, who works with the City of Pigeon Forge street department, did not make the trip to China with Gale. Wanting to save any work leave days to be with Chloe when she returned, he met them at the airport. That worried Gale – she had been told that the children in the orphanage were not accustomed to seeing men. She showed Chloe a photo of Rick every day in China, explaining, “That’s Daddy.” Their meeting went off without a hitch. “Chloe reached for him right at the first meeting,” says Gale. Well past the tearful episode of that initial day in China, their daughter is “very social, very much a people person.” Like the Thompsons and Trenthams, the Caylors say that the process for them was lengthy, but smooth. They had checked on domestic adoptions first, but decided to consider going international after hearing of others’ bad experiences. Initially open to the idea of a boy or girl from a variety of locations, Gale says that when their Holston Homes counselor suggested a little girl from China, “it just felt so right.” And that feeling carries over every day. Echoing the sentiments of the Thompsons and Trenthams, Gale says, “Chloe couldn’t be any closer to being our child if she were our own biological child.” The three families are also unanimous on two other points. Their advice to others considering an international adoption is to “start early,” says Todd Thompson. Adds his wife Janie, “Do your research, then just jump right in and get going.” And all three couples welcome questions about their experience. “I’ve had three people call me this week alone asking questions about adoptions,” smiles Gale Caylor, who is the manager of Home Federal Bank in Pigeon Forge. Janie Thompson sums up the feelings of connectedness the families share with others in the area: “You think you’re the only one, but you start talking to others and find out you’re not. It’s such a kinship.”