Advice Column: Dear Rose,

Dear Rose,
I am a single mother of a young son. My baby’s father decided he didn’t want to get married after he found out I was pregnant. He did not pay for anything when I was pregnant, but caused much hurt by his actions and words. I took him to court after the baby was born and he was ordered to pay child support. He married someone else while I was pregnant, but is now, two years later, getting a divorce. He has been sporadic as a father, and in paying support, but is getting better. He has taken him for weekends regularly. My problem is that now he is talking about us being a family and getting back together. I feel torn, because I love my son and want him to have a dad and mom, and I do still feel some chemistry for this guy. The other side is that I am somewhat bitter at him for what he did for me. I feel like I am the one who looks bad sometimes because of my attitude. I don’t know what to do. I told him that he wanted me to even consider taking him back he would have to prove himself first by being a decent, CONSISTENT father. To pay his child support on time and do the right thing. Am I right to do this?
Torn mom

Dear Torn,
It sounds like you are a smart person. The guy let you down once, and it is to your credit that you are considering him again. People do change, they mature through trouble, so what you suggested sounds extremely smart. Good luck.

Dear Rose,
I am a divorced guy in his early thirties. My problem is that my ex keeps calling me. It can be over just little things. I gave and gave when we were married. I tried everything I could think of to make her feel loved and cared for. She was the light of my life, but just nagged and complained and was just not able to be happy about anything. I felt glad just to get out of the marriage after putting my heart into it for years and have enjoyed just living in peace. I try to be nice to her, but so help me God, if the woman isn’t a you know what. How can I get her to stop calling?
Sick and Tired

Dear Sick,
Did you ever hear of caller ID? Another option is voice mail. Don’t answer, don’t return the calls unless the voice mail suggests that it is something important, like a legal matter. She will get the point after a while.