Advice Column: Dear Rose

Dear Rose,
I am a 17 year old girl who is dating a 26 year old guy. My mom is having fits and says that he is too old. I say that I am a senior in high school. I work and buy my own clothes. If I did something wrong I would be tried as an adult, and in one year I will be old enough to die for my country. He is a good person and treats me with respect. Things are not like they used to be when my mom was a girl. She has to realize that I can make my own decisions now. We talked and decided to write and see what you say.
Old enough in Seymour

Dear Old enough,
You are to be commended on the fact that you work and buy your own clothes. What you say about being tried as an adult and almost being old enough to die for your country is true too. It is wonderful that you are treated with respect by this guy. Now, lets look at the other facts. There is a big age gap, but the experience gap is even bigger. Your mom’s concerns are valid. Here is a compromise: if this guy really respects you, he will be glad to spend time with you at home in full view of your parents. This will give your parents time to get to know him, and will let you see him in a familiar background. People do fall in love with age differences, but proceed with caution and kindness, not in rebellion with what your parents say. Proceeding in rebellion can make you do things that you will be sorry for, that you really don’t want to do. Give yourself time. When you are 18 you will legally be considered an adult, and then it won’t be so hard for your parents to handle maybe.

Dear Rose,
I am 16 years old and pregnant. My boyfriend says he loves me, but his parents plan on him going to college and he does not want to get married or have this baby. My dad called me a slut last night when he found out. I live in a nice home and my mom has not stopped crying since last night. They said that my future is ruined. I do not like to think of abortion, but the thought of having a baby and then just abandoning it sounds terrible too. I don’t want to lose my future. I want to go to college and do good in life. My dad said that he will not feed an illegitimate brat. This is so horrible. Please answer soon, I don’t know what to do.
Confused

Dear Confused,
Please understand that many very good people throughout history have made mistakes much worse than yours. What your father said about you being a slut and not wanting to feed an illegitimate brat was wrong.
People say things that they are sorry for when they are upset. You are in a rough spot. Please know that I do not condemn you, nor do most people.
Post abortion problems include depression and inability to conceive later. There is a place in Sevierville called the Women’s Care Center at 304 Eastgate Road. Their telephone number is 865-428-HOPE (4673).
The women there have compassion for what you are going through. They can help if you need a place to stay and money for hospital expenses.
Many children given up for adoption thank their birth mothers for wanting them to have a better life.
Please consider that option. So many couples long for a baby. They offer financial stability and educated parents and a good life. Let us know how you are doing and what you decide.