A mother can’t make up her mind
I can’t believe I’m actually a believer of a double standard, but as I think back to the day I dropped my daughter off at high school and saw the boy and girl in each other’s arms, swapping spit, I have to take my stand.
Is public displays of affection (PDA) at school regulated enough?
Sure, in the student handbook it “forbids” acts such as smooching and even down right out and out necking, but it also states that belly shirts are not to be worn either, and I’ve seen plenty of bare bellies. It’s obvious they are not enforcing the rules of PDA, but can I morally take a stand when I will grab my hubby’s backside as we are walking through Lowe’s? What is the difference between a 17 year old guy and girl kissing each other before class and a well….over 17 year old couple smooching while waiting in the Wal-Mart line? Does the public think it’s inappropriate for affection to be shown in public between a man and a woman? Do they think of me the way I think of those high school students?
Handholding seems to be the exception to the rule. I feel it is okay to hold hands. I honestly think it is cute to see students holding each other’s hands. It is a kind of innocent affection that I can readily accept. I can even go as far as the little peck on the cheek that Ritchie Cunningham and Lori Beth were famous for.
He was uncomfortable, she blushed, and they didn’t speak of it often. However, once they got to inspiration point, well, who knows what happened there. But that was in private, no one saw groping or fondling, pinching or squeezing…am I too old fashioned? Why is it alright for our schools to permit such behavior yet when my husband and I get a little “romantic” at a gas station while pumping gas, a passerby yells, “Get a room!” We have a house full of rooms but they are all occupied with children.
Furthermore, what is wrong with showing the world how I feel about my mate? I have the most wonderful husband in the world and I’m proud to show it.
I’m a touchy feely type of gal, and rarely go far without his arm around me or mine around him.
The other weekend we broke free from parent-hood and went to the movies. There we saw a couple about 60 years old standing in line. She had her hand in his back pocket and he was actually kissing her neck! I was not offended by that, I thought it was endearing. Maybe it was because of their age, or maybe the location. I commented that I had hoped we would still be romantic when we hit our golden years. It made me think of my parents and how affectionate they are towards one another. It was a good feeling. Then in the scary movie line stood a bunch of teens. They too were paired off and had their hands all over each other’s body.
I felt more uneasy about that, although I wasn’t setting a good example of letting my husband rest his hand delicately on an otherwise taboo spot on my body. It unnerved me to see those teens behaving like….like….well, me.
Then it occurred to my why I held this double standard about PDA. Here I was, accepting the elder’s behavior because it reminded me of my parents. That was a good feeling. Then, watching the adolescents made me think of how my own teens behave when not around me, and it made me shudder. Do they really do that? Are they copying their parents? Are we bad parents for showing our children how much we love and adore one another? What is right?
After careful scrutiny of the situation, the only conclusion I can come up with is that I will indeed hold a double standard for PDA. It may be wrong but I’m entitled to a couple of wrongs now and then.
I will not be told I cannot kiss my mate in public. It shows him I love him, I’m proud of him and that I’m not ashamed of showing the world how I feel about him. However, I do not want to see smooching at the flagpoles or the front steps of the public high school. For some reason, it just doesn’t sit right in my mind and I will forever be uneasy about the situation, just as I am about belly shirts.