Check Marc\’s: Bring me the wings

Assoc. Managing Editor

The rumor has been churning double-time the last few weeks about a national hot wings chain bringing their special brand of service to Sevier Co. Yet, the lips that know are mum or full of denial that Hooters may or may not be coming to the parkway soon. In the interest of public service, I now offer the top ten reasons Hooters should consider a location in scenic Sevier County.
10. County Commissioners could move their monthly post-meeting Shoney’s sit and talk from Shoney’s to a spicier restaurant.
9. Parkway weekend traffic back-ups steer frustrated cars directly into your lot as they attempt to wait it out.
8. A location in the old Sagebrush would really put a kink in the CBID project for Sevierville.
7. 157 rod runs a year, enough said.
6. Road construction crews are more plentiful in this county than fleas on a dog and promise to be that way for years to come.
5. Yet another location where the orange and white color scheme matches up with popular local college teams.
4. Nowhere along the parkway do you fall under the gaze of the county’s Beer Board.
3. Where else does crime have the flair of the Krispy Kreme Bank Bomber?
2. Only place that Hooters could be just minutes away from Cooters?
1. Marketing gold mine with the common local ad phrase, “Beautiful mountain view.”

Marcus Fitzsimmons, Associate Managing Editor of the Herald Newspapers, born and raised in Sevier County. His column appears each week in the editorial pages of The Herald Newspaper.