In case you’ve missed it on your calendar, the World Pole-Sitting Championship kicked off or rather sat down May 1 in Berlin. Pole-sitting is no longer a prominent sport in the United States.
For those who are unfamiliar with this European dominated sport, participants climb up on a eight and a half foot pole and balance themselves on a 24-inch by 16-inch rectangle at the top. They then put all their effort into sitting.
As with all professional sports, there are different thoughts on the game. The modern German rules allow for a ten minute break every two hours. The “purist” follow the Dutch rules that do not allow competitors to leave their pole at any time. But even more uncomforting is that there is no seat at the top of the pole. Purist competitions do not last very long.
This year’s competitors have a difficult challenge, even utilizing the German rules. Last year’s winner, Daniel Baraniuk, set a new world record by sitting on his pole for 196 consecutive days and nights. The 2002 contest kicked off on May 15 and ended November 27. Baraniuk came down after getting bored of sitting. His last competitor had fallen from his perch sometime in October leaving the 27 year old Pole as the champion with only the sheer determination to set a unreachable new record to keep him going in the arduous and physically-draining event.
The 2003 competitors are now approaching the forty-seven day mark and event organizers have been strangely silent about the progress of this year’s competition. Rumors are beginning to circle of a possible scandal involving the electronic sensors that monitor each pole to guarantee the participants stay in place.
Of course like all professional athletes, pole sitters do not have very long careers. Tragically the long durations of the contest keep many from participating for lengthy careers. The height of the pole becomes a concern as falls are the most common form of disqualification. Past competitors are rumored to suffer from arthritis from the prolonged exposure and as the result of fall injuries and many suffer from kidney problems and insomnia. Unlike the NFL there is no organized league and these hard-core, big-hearted athletes are left to tend to their expenses without a sport retirement package or medical benefits.
Even those of us in the media are likely to ignore these patient athletes, whose focus and stamina should impress the stoutest marathon runner. We ignore their competitions and it is doubtful we will ever see their live updates on Sports Center, and so with this small bit I attempt to correct my past mistakes regarding this set of bizarre but hardy athletes.

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