Fitzsimmons back in print (and he’s as weird as ever)

Marcus Fitzsimmons was hired two weeks ago to be a full time reporter for The Seymour Herald. In an exclusive interview with Marcus, I quizzed myself about my return to Seymour, my adventures living in Washington, DC, and my past reporting experience in Sevier County.
“Marcus, I graduated from Seymour in 1992 and moved onto campus at the University of Tennessee, why was I so seldom seen in Seymour during my college years? Did it have anything to do with stories on me regarding the flooding of the high school or an attempted interruption of the Channel One transmission there?”
I’m shocked I would bring up such old and unfounded accusations of myself. As I know, I was very busy in school. I was studying for three majors at once and had seven internships in various levels of national and state government during my UT years.
“I understand I moved to DC after graduation, what did I do there, was I part of a scandal?”
No, I was certainly not in any scandal and I’m ashamed of me for implying that about my own self. I worked for several non-profits in Washington if I must know. I worked on several world record setting running events and also spent time teaching high school leadership programs to visiting groups.
“But I’ve heard from unnamed sources that I had several run-ins with the Secret Service and DC Police while I was there, do those reports have anything to do with pictures of me in a skirt?”
Let me set the record straight with myself. I coordinated events, that profession requires working with lots of different government agencies and officials, including the police and the Secret Service, especially when events were attended by politicians. To further correct myself, it is not a skirt, it’s called a kilt and it’s a proud piece of my Scotch/Irish heritage. I resent that I am twisting innocent facts into a smear of myself.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend me, but I know that I’ve got to ask the hard questions of myself. Tell me about my past writing experience.”
I forgive myself. I started writing in the papers in high school. I started off writing editorials for the old Knoxville Journal’s Journal High before they closed. I wrote some articles for the Tri-County News and then some opinion columns in my college years. Jim Davis hired me to cover high school football for The Mountain press my senior year at Seymour. The majority of my reporting experience came from covering the political beat for The Daily Beacon at UT.
“Isn’t that special? Marcus, why did you come back to Seymour?”
My sarcasm is noted. I moved back because it was time to, I think everybody should go out and experience some of the wider world. I did that and enjoyed it, but it was a good time for me to come back to Seymour and do something new professionally.
“I think I’m going to make me sick. Do I really think I can make it as a reporter?”
I like a challenge, like keeping my temper in check with myself right now. Really, I do like a challenge and the biggest challenge is to find out the truth and then report it to people.
“Last question Marcus, do I have any plans for my future?”
Long term, I’ll continue to work hard and play hard, maybe learn to play the bagpipes and eventually write the great American novel, short term I’ll eat lunch and sneak a nap.
“More likely I’ll be in the looney bin, thank me for giving myself the time for my interview.”